Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Gay: NUMBER 1!

I shouldn't even be typing this right now since I've been working 12 hours straight on two separate midterm projects. FML...and, well, FWP's I guess, too. Lame. School's the shit and all but I'm pretty sure I'm not doing what I'd like to do for the rest of my life. I need to be more disciplined and actually sit down and write every day but it's hard to do when you've got 24 hours a week just devoted to an internship, school, bills, apartment to clean, cat to take care of...and on top of it all I'm going to add running three miles a day to my schedule in order to get my fatass back in shape. I hate being a fatty. Weird side to that, though?
More looks from chicks (although this is null and void to me since I have a wonderful girlfriend).
When I was super skinny, I'd only get those weird girls who liked skinny guys, but now that I'm "big" (husky? fuck if I know, but I sure as hell ain't toned) I get looks from girls that used to probably be cheerleaders or whores in years earlier. I'm not used to that, and I sure as hell don't understand why attractive girls like fat dudes and not skinny ones. I mean, I was skinny and shit, but at least I was toned. I had abs, for fucks sake! Now, if I don't start exercising in the next month, my New Year's Resolution will probably be to look down and see my own dick again. I've got 100 Resolutions, but I've got no solutions...well, yeah, I guess I do, running. Fuck you, Chris.

I digress.

I was watching Paranormal State the other night and a commercial for some Lysol kitchen wipes came on. They were extra tough and had dysinfecting superpowers and whatnot and the lady wiped her dirty-ass oven and it was sparkly clean and, well, you get the picture. What was odd to me, however, was at that very moment my mind contemplated the thought of, "man, I cannot wait to have a lot of extra money so that one day I can buy those and really clean my area of dwelling."
I shit you not. I actually thought that.
My next thought, of course, was suicide. Let's face it, how fucking far have I fallen that I'm now thinking of goddamn wipes as some sort of holy grail of middle class awesomeness?
I guess what I'm trying to get at is that for the first time in a very long time, I found myself asking (myself), "Just who the fuck am I?"
I still don't know.